Time didn’t help
I still haven’t managed to gather my thoughts well. To be honest I feel in a bit of a daze. The last week started out on iffy ground anyway with my appointment with the councillor. I talked about the nasty stuff and how I can’t seem to figure out how what happened did. It helped a lot in the sense that I can now accept that it wasn’t in my control at the time, I should have done something but the fact remains that I couldn’t have at the time. Whatever way I look at it was abuse, it’s whether or not a stronger word could describe it or not that’s the issue now. Dredging up the past never seems to go well for me no matter how hard I try, it always triggers something.
I’m trying something new yet again. My mum lent me a book about unblocking your creativity which i started to read last week. It’s a twelve week course in a book pretty much aimed at letting your creativeness flow. Part of it is the Morning Pages. Three pages in a book that I write every morning before starting the day. Just the writing of the random thoughts that pop into my head until all three pages have been filled. I have to say it’s going pretty well, whether it works as intended or not I’m finding just the simple act of writing my thoughts in the morning proving to be very useful. I guess It’s a clarity thing, jotting down thoughts and half reading them back seems to clear the mind a little, lets some of the important things breath while you write them. I wouldn’t have done the new wallpaper without them, and I certainly wouldn’t be in the middle of cleaning the kitchen from floor to ceiling and beyond (there are lifeforms that constitute as newly formed galaxy’s in there!)
Got stuff to do, and done
I have been busy lately doing more design work for my website, and in the process I came up with the new version of my desktop, it’s a lot crisper than the last as I did a bit of work on the curves, but I’m liking it rather a lot. I did rather a nice wide-screen version of the same thing but pale with the other half is using now. Busy busy busy. Read the rest of this entry »
College and Emotions.
Well it’s been an eventful (by my standards) and an emotional few days since I last posted. The lump I was so anxious about turns out to be nothing more than a simple cyst. The doctor gave me the option to have it removed, adding that it was likely to come back. I decided to leave it. There is just too much going on with all the psychiatric appointments at the moment without adding that to the mix as well. Work are being very supportive for now, having more time off to have the lump removed might be pushing it a bit.
I took the plunge and enrolled at college yesterday. It’s a part time course in Digital Imaging so hopefully my photography skills will improve greatly. I’ll be doing one evening a week so it won’t get in the way of work and it gets me out of the house and mixing with people. I start on Tuesday and I’m really looking forward to it even though I’m a little nervous. Last time I went to college turned into a complete disaster although that was predominantly because my son was still a baby and was always ill meaning that the creche couldn’t look after him. That won’t be a problem this time round, he started High School this week (which makes me feel old!).
