Freaky Saturday
It was all going so well, then I got this stupid head cold.
Blocked sinuses, splitting head ache and next to no sleep at all last night thanks to not being able to breath, or swallow and at 4:00 this morning there was a very bizarre sight outside. A car had pulled up on the factory that’s across the street from the bedroom. The car door was wide open and trancy/dance music was pumping out of the stereo. There was a woman, or at least it looked like a woman, dancing like there was no tomorrow. It was just plain bizzare!
The Good, The Bad and The Tunes.
Oh to have the internet back.
It’s nice to be able to catch up on everything again, although trawling through the 66 emails of facebook spam and finding a grand total of 5 emails that I found of any interest put a bit of a downer on it! I’m feeling pretty fine now if I’m honest.
I’m enthusiastic about things again, and I’m really looking forward to the kids coming over this weekend (even though the eldest is in the bad books for what effectively was stealing for which the big geek will be punished by means of gadget removal…muhahaha no PC/TV/Microwave for that one, he will just have to learn the importance of imagination again!)
My Day
I went for a walk, picked up my meds and did a bit of shopping. I didn’t want to go out. In fact it made me feel really nervous every time I saw someone or had to speak.
It was lovely on my own though. Just wandering. Taking in the surroundings.
Peaceful.
I just felt like some healthy munchies so I went a bit mad on dry fruit and natural yogurt (with grapes and banana and muesli….oh my god, it’s yummy!)
A Brain of Two Sides?
Why can I only say what I think if I write it? Why can I not express my feelings? Not even to someone who cares. My head swimming with questions and I need to know the answers, only I can’t pull the questions out to be able to ask them. I can’t even see the full questions half the time. Maybe it’s because my brain is too logical and it can’t process it. I always search for logical explanations that justify my actions and my state of mind. Maybe I am just two personalities in one. There’s the lazy me, that won’t do a damn thing. Housework? What’s that?
Worry
I worry too much. Why am I so scared to be myself? I really don’t want to put the other half through hell, and I don’t want people around me to know what’s going on with me. I can’t take that. I don’t want to be “normal”, who does? But I don’t want to show people how my mind really works. They might not like what they see, then where would I be?
Alone.
